everything is pipe

Artie had a trashcan on his head. He was running into the walls of his office.

Look, you did office hours your way, he did his his way.

Or, you know, Artie's info post.

I'm totally taking a lot of this word for word from the info post I did for Artie the first time around. For those who don't know, Artie first came to Fandom in January 2006. He left at the end of September, reassured that the town was suitably weird, and thus protected from the devastating forces of Teh Emoo. But, well, it's been awhile. So he's baaaaaaaaaaaack!

( Getting to know Artie! The Strongest Man . . . in the World! )

Lastly, we have Artie. The strongest man in the world.

( who used latex, detergent, and red food coloring to make a fake cut to the info post I already wrote at the beginning of the summer )

Yay! I'm done now! I promise!

Artie was harrassing the ducks again.

There was no trace of exploded head of Gentleman on his striped uniform, though the enthusiasm in his shouts might indicate that he was quite glad to be able to speak again.

Then again, he's always enthusiastic, so maybe it doesn't.

[ooc: openinated]

Okay, so, um, just to let folks know what's the what, here.

( cut because I tend to babble, 'specially about Artie )

Thanks!

ETA for the Dadaists This means that this is pretty much the one week when Artie would give people detention. Let me know if you'd be up for having detention with V this weekend.

Artie was out and about in the park with a butterfly net.

This might have something to do with those foul freaky feathered fiends, the ducks.

It also might have something to do with the fact that Mortimer, his buggy companion, is nowhere in sight.

It's Artie. Who knows, really?

[ooc: open for all your park/superhero needs]

The weather was cool and the sky was cloudy, and Artie was canoing.

Mortimer the bug as also in attendence, flying in lazy circles at the end of its red thread leash, which Artie had thoughtfully tied to the bow of the boat.

Artie was serenading his friend, the bug, with a song. Though, being Artie, it was more of a spoken word rendition of the song.

( cut for lyrics )

Though the music is upbeat, the singing is somewhat melancholy, as though Artie were nostalgic for better days of summers and falls with a puny viking, beating up the ocean, delivering papers, searching for ice cream men, staying up late, fighting bowling balls.

Either that, or Artie just realllllly can't sing.

Artie seems to be properly recovered from his encounter with the mayor. Indeed, his spirits are lifted, he's enjoying life, and everything appears to be pipe.

He's currently seated on nothing by a Krebtego board set up on a pedestal by the water, studying the pieces intently.

His opponent?

His little buggy friend from last night.

Who is really much friendlier than that unpipe mayor.

Artie is out on beach by the docks, jumping about and flailing his arms as usual.

Today, however, he's wearing sweatbands on his head, wrists, and ankles, and has a KrebStar 2000 portable radio on a belt around his waist, spouting an odd mix of mid-nineties underground alternative.

Every now and then he pauses and goes back to his porta-home for a sip of an Orange Lazarus.

It seems obvious that this is not just a case of Artie being Artie. This is Artie in training, and for something big. What it could be, well, we couldn't say. But perhaps, noting Artie's past battles, it has something to do with the International Adult Conspiracy?

Or, possibly, he's getting ready to swim to the Olympics.

Or maybe we're wrong, and this really is just Artie being Artie.

With Artie, one can never really tell.

Artie bounds and spins, his arms out-stretched, a wimple on his head. (Yes, you heard me, a wimple. No, I don't know where he got it. As for why? Well . . . .)

The Orchestra swells:

The hills are alive
With the sound of music!

Suddenly, the orchestra is cut off by an electric guitar and a whammy bar. Artie freezes and jerks upright.

"Powers! Weakening! Song in my heart! Fading!"

And he pitches forward, stiff as a board, and collapses to the ground.

Twitching.