everything is pipe

Artie had an office. He quite possibly had never had one before. It was just as possible he had no idea what a teacher generally did with an office.

"One . . . two . . . three . . . four. . . ." Artie was currently doing some aerobics in his office. "Eins . . . zwei . . . drei . . . vier . . . im Deutschland!"

Artie's aerobics involved bouncing around the roof off walls and falling over the desk.

His office was open.