Office Hours, Friday 5/28

[superartie]

One might expect that Artie's office would be baggage free. In fact, one would be wrong. There was, for instance, a bag that said PERMANENT PRESS PANTS on it, which was clearly part of a matched set with the one that said ALUMINUM SIDING.

Perhaps the strangest, though, was the large, old fashioned steamer trunk leaning against the wall by the door which read GERTRUDE STEIN.

Artie just didn't seem to have noticed they were there, yet.

[ooc: open!]

Comments

[byneptunesbeard.livejournal.com]

"Isn't it, though?" asked Aquaman, holding it out with an admiring smile and giving it another look over. He just assumed that pipe was a good thing; what else could it have been? "That's why I'm so keen on making sure it gets back to its owner; I know I'd be pretty put out if I'd misplaced such a great bag!"

[superartie]

"Maybe it's a gift?" Artie mused, stepping up to peer more closely at the bag. "Or perhaps you've won a contest!"

[byneptunesbeard.livejournal.com]

"A contest?" asked Aquaman. "Why, I didn't even think of that! I don't think I remember entering one, but it's..." He tilted his head, moving the bag to be viewed at a different angle, "just outrageous."

[superartie]

"A super-secret contest!" Artie decided. "Very pipe! You're clearly a lucky man."

[byneptunesbeard.livejournal.com]

"You know," said Aquaman, shouldering the bag, "by Neptune's Beard, I am! It even matches my outfit!"

[superartie]

"It's very fashion forward," Artie said. "You'll have to show it off!"

[byneptunesbeard.livejournal.com]

"It's just such a shame," said Aquaman, shaking his head and not wanting to be a Debbie Downer, but it was true, "that it didn't come with matching boots."

[superartie]

"I bet we could make some!" Artie was never one to let someone wallow in Debbie Downer-hood for long. "I believe I have some construction paper and a stapler!"

[byneptunesbeard.livejournal.com]

"Er," said Aquaman,who not only didn't want to be a Debbie Downer, but he didn't want to be rude, either, so he had to think about that one for a second. "Well, I tend to need boots that are a bit more...waterproof than construction paper. I'm not called Aquaman for nothing, you know!"

[superartie]

Artie nodded thoughtfully. "I may have some rubber duckies." And he went to a filing cabinet and sifted through the contents, flinging tennis balls and purple socks and a live frog behind him as he went.

[byneptunesbeard.livejournal.com]

Aquaman couldn't help watch the frog land with a little plop.

"Oh, you look just fine!" Aquaman assured him in response to a frog modding ribbit. "Just walk it off, my amphibious ally!"

And then, to his office neighbor, he kindly offered, "You wouldn't happen to have any...I don't know...boots for making boots out of in there, would you?"

[superartie]

Artie gave Aquaman the sort of look usually reserved for, well, adults. It was the "you just don't get it, do you?" look. He turned back to the drawer, then stood up in triumph, holding his prize aloft.

Two spatulas.

Look, just go with it, okay?

"Now, where did I put that garden hose?"

[byneptunesbeard.livejournal.com]

If anything, it would at least be interesting to see how this turns out.

"Vincent," that was apparently the modded frog's name, "say it's over there."

[superartie]

And there it was! Tucked behind a previously unseen suitcase labeled ATLANTIC OCEAN.

"Excellent! Vincent has very good eyes. I should introduce him to Clark!" Artie bounded over and started pulling the garden hose free, much the way a magician would pull out a line of knotted handkerchiefs.

[byneptunesbeard.livejournal.com]

"Who's Clark?" asked Aquaman. "I've got a student in my class called Clark. I didn't know he was a frog fan."

[superartie]

"Clark's in your class? He's come a long way from his days of amnesia!"

[byneptunesbeard.livejournal.com]

"...We might be talking about different Clarks," Aquaman said thoughtfully. "Although maybe not. He doesn't look like he's had amnesia, but it does seem to happen a lot if you're not careful."

[superartie]

Another suitcase appeared, this one reading GOLF BALL. Artie nodded sagely. "I've told him that. It took some work for him to remember those halcyon days on the river with Gertrude and Ernest."

[byneptunesbeard.livejournal.com]

"Ah," said Aquaman, having no idea what the other man was talking about but just rolling with it anyway, "such a sad thing to happen, to lose one's precious memories. But you did get him to recall? That's wonderful!"

[superartie]

"Oh yes! Now everything is pipe!"

Artie had finished . . . whatever he was doing with the garden hose and the spatulas, and presented the end result to Aquaman. They were water-proof. They were different. They might have even vaguely resembled boots.

[byneptunesbeard.livejournal.com]

"The craftsmanship," said Aquaman after a moment of looking over them, "is...impeccable. These are undeniably outrageous, my good friend."

[superartie]

"An Artie original. Enjoy!"